Quickies: Mama Told Me

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Well, whose grandmother hasn’t anally raped a man with a cucumber in an act of vigilante justice? (Jezebel)

The twenty most expensive celebrity divorces ever. (Customized Girl)

Richie Sambora gets popped for DUI, bad hair. (CelebWarship)

Scarlett Johansson nip slip! (CelebNewsWire)

Katie Holmes collapses under all the pressure of not having a penis. (Allie Is Wired)

Tyra Banks gets too big for her britches — in more ways than one. High five! (Jossip)

Eva Longoria ain’t so damn hot without all the face paint. (Websters)

Is that Sophie Monk camel toe I smell, or is it tuna casserole Wednesday? (Ninja Dude)

That’s not Beyonce. No way that’s Beyonce. Is it? (Pretty Boring)

Miley Cyrus’ mom is hot! In a praying mantis sort of way. (Fatback)

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4 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. open mouth jones

    Ahahahaha

    Love that the granny was laughing about the whole thing, while Chester the molester was all wa-wa, poor me. It’s like seriously, douchenozzle: THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING TURNED ON BY & HAVING SEX WITH A 5 Y/O, YOU SICK FUCK.

    On a different note: Do you think Granny and the cuke are available to take care of the spammers?

  2. kimmyo

    I wish someone would anally rape me with a watermelon and some tabasco.

  3. RichPort

    Vigilante justice… and a waste of a pretty nice looking cucumber.

    In other news, I have decided to forego salad indefinitely.

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